Room of Lost Dreams

We have company coming to stay with us this weekend.  We’ve known for a couple months this person was coming.  So, we’ve slowly been taking the plants off the porch, cutting back the sweet potato vine that ate Cincinnati, straightening piles, and weeding out an occasional bit of formerly valued items (aka. Crap).  My main goal was “Does it look OK from the front door?”

Recently I learned they would be spending the night.  They will be sleeping in a room frequented by cats, so that means lots of fur that needed to be rounded up and off of every surface.  As the weekend approached, the level of fanaticism around our house also increased.  We each had our quirks: Steve suddenly needed to paint the workshop, while I began trying a new method of mulching the front bed.  While Steve managed to paint on the hottest day this fall, I mulched on the coldest, finishing by porch light in 40 degree temps with a brisk north wind.

Eventually we both focused on the inside of the house.  When I found myself slinging papers, old plaques, and other items into a box so I could get them out of sight, I did have to ask myself “What IS this crap and WHY am I keeping it?!”   After one of these binges, we both quietly sat in the room, lost in our thoughts.  “I am totally overwhelmed by this room,” I told Steve. On the surface it looks neat, but at some level it drives me crazy. I sometimes think of it as the “Room of Lost Dreams.”  It’s where all things are possible: vacations I might enjoy, hobbies I might try, projects I might finish.  It is literally a “might-y” room.

Recently, I have been craving fresh salads.  I want fresh, crunchy, light, and raw. I want a juicer.  I want every meal to include a few grapes, a side of crudities or a small salad.  Our bodies could benefit from the enzymes, but it feels like my soul needs the light touch vegetables provide.  Suddenly it felt like all the food I eat seemed heavy and weighs me down.  As I pondered this in my journal, I realized it was the same feeling as the Room of Lost Dreams.  I need to lighten the load that keeps me in the past so I’ll have enough energy and enthusiasm to move forward.  On many levels, it seems, it is time to lighten up: practice gratitude, say thank you, remember to smile, eat your veggies, and live the lost dreams or let them go.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Room of Lost Dreams

  1. Kim Rayno

    Yes, we all have a “room of lost dreams” or something similar. I have a desk, a craft area, and bookshelves filled with important stuff (aka CRAP) that just increases. It is hard to realize the potential stuffed away in there, and every so often I am able to pull something out and fulfill it’s destiny. Unfortunately it is not happening at a rate to offset the rate of piling up. Thomas and I wish you much luck with your journey and hope that we will manage to visit you and Steve next May!

  2. Jo Soos

    I’m heading for the produce section at Krogers…..

  3. “It is literally a “might-y” room.” 🙂 I love how you’ve described everything.

    I think the passing of my mom has triggered a lot of the same kinds of feelings – at least, it comes down to the same kind of emotion at its core…it’s a letting go and cutting loose of unfulfilled possibilities, and dreams, that sometimes create new possibilities in obvious ways, but sometimes seem to dead-end and cause a greater sense of loss. Bah. I guess change, and loss, and grief, and attempting to survive and move forward all require some intense inner work, whether you’re up for it or not.

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